oscars! party!

i just left an oscars party. i had been there 1.5 hours deep into the show and somehow managed to pick every category wrong on my ballot up to the point where i left.
i'm in awe of myself.

hats and magic!

last night i had a dream where my girlfriend and i were in a store called Hats & Magic. she was really into it. the store had two floors and there were christmas lights decorating the inside. i don't remember seeing any hats or magic. my girlfriend was upstairs and i told her that i'd meet her outside because i was bored. when i went out the back door, the security alarm went off.

buff men with ponytails

Recently, I was speaking with an associate who grew up in the San Fernando valley. He told me that it was the porn capital of the world. I wondered if he often saw porn actors in diners, the bank, or at the grocery store. I asked him if that's how it was where he grew up. He said no, but that he would sometimes see them at the gym. He went on to say that they were often "buff guys with long ponytails."

things i need to buy immediately to impress a girl i like.

• cupcakes
• cookies
• candy
• puppies
• kittens
• any animal that was "just born" (or "fresh")
• corn
• yellow
• grass

what happened before lunch today.

today i ate a peanut butter, banana and honey sandwich at 11 AM.
it ruined my appetite for lunch.